My favorite type of Sony Fanboy.

Coming from a site that bears the name "WiiFanBoys" it's a little hard to stretch the tongue and accuse others of being more Fanboy than ourselves, but we can talk about -- unequivocally and fairly, mind you -- the different types of fanboy. Today I will pay tribute and great appreciation to: the Sony Fanboy.

You know who you are, and if you're him, you've already built up enough anger reading this paragraph that would rival Chris Benoit. Except, Sony Fanboys wouldn't leave an apology beside each of their victims. They are who they are and we've accepted them, perhaps grudgingly.

With that in mind, here are my favorite Sony Fanboys:

The Sony Representative

The Representative is aggressive and limitless in his unwavering ability to piss you off. In a forum or chat room he instills fear of conversation regarding "graphics" or "RAM" because it would start debate that no one could win. You'll get called "faget" or "n00b". He'll threaten to DOS your machine, hijack your IP, "download yo a vir0t" all within a single post.

He's an asshole. Logic is merely an arguable point. And the kicker: He doesn't even get paid for it.

Example posting:

I found this post by searching for: gamecube faget on Google.

Manageability	Best bet
0/5	Accept and embrace. Tell him you have all of Sony's beloved products and can't wait for PS4. Life is just easier that way.

The "I don't even own it, I'm just saying." Guy

You know this guy. He's the one on a blaze of glory, lashing out on anyone who speaks poorly of the beloved PS3 or PSP. He pounces on you the minute you raise awareness to the DS or Wii outselling Sony's parallel items, or mention it's charmingly-close visuals equal to that of a George Foreman Grill. For every praise of Xbox360 Live you have, or every PSP-disc-flying-out issue you hate on -- he will be there.

The Sony Rep and this guy may seem the same, but what separates them is of huge vastness. This guy claims that he "doesn't even have a PS3". 9 times out of ten when someone runs this line by you in a forum or blog THEY ARE LYING TO YOU. A Fanboy whom does not own the product he preaches will never admit to it (we'll get to this type of Fanboy in a minute). He wants you to buy the idea that based on his unbiased analysis the PS3 is a clear winner over anything else.

Manageability	Best bet
3/5	He's more likely to logic and reason with you than The Sony Rep, but with that you get to read often that even he (not owning one) knows it, so you should, too. Don't engage in his conversations and he'll likely stay away from yours.

The "Future Owner of a PS3/PSP" Guy

A complete opposite in many ways to his brethren of fanboy acclaim, this particular person loves the PS3 or PSP so much but doesn't actually own the the system he is praising -- for real. It's not a ploy, it's not a delusion. He loves it and just simply does not have it.

Money, work habits, space, lack of games, no real online framework, forced Bluray drive; whatever the reason for it, this Sony Fanboy does not own the system of his dreams. :( And yet, he wants me to believe in a product that he, himself -- the "salesman" for the system -- does not own.

I don't know about you, but being over at EB Games' PS3 kiosk for 15 minutes on a Saturday afternoon does not make me the outspoken video hardware specialist of the Internet. A lot of people would argue that you can praise a system that you do not own in anticipation for it's eventual purchase.

Wrong. If you believe in the hardware so badly that you argue to the point where you anger other people: you must absolutely, faithfully own it. Period.

Manageability	Best bet
4/5	Usually a decent person. Mostly just distraught and fearful of you asking the question, "Do you even own it?"

The 13 year-old "First Person Shooter" Nut job Fanboy

He's your friend's kid-brother, your neighbor down the street, or your best friend.. Any dealings with this person are basically watching him play Wartime Shooter 4: World War II or something awfully similar. He's the one you'll hear shouting on the headset during an online match. He shoots his own teammates and calls everyone "n00b". He'll tea bag all of his victims and shoot at them repeatedly long past the kill. He's an asshole because he has never stopped playing the fucking game. No one stands a chance against him in an online arena.

Manageability	Best bet
1/5	Don't bring up the fact that the PS2's graphics were worse than GameCube's, or that the PSP is for jerks who love load-time. He's usually sitting in the den running his mouth while his mother keeps calling him upstairs for supper. Not often found in forums or blogs.