WiiFanBoys.com

Game Release Dates Piss Me Off!

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:13:00-0400

Release dates are always (with very limited differences) quoted as being on Tuesdays. I have even managed to stand outside of Best Buy on Monday Night until Tuesday 12:00 AM to get a newly released video game. So why is it that many retailers rarely have the games I want on the "release date"? Gamestop will tell you that a game's release date is actually the Wednesday after the Tuesday that's been listed on the Internet (even, at times, on the publisher website.) Then they tell you that you're stupid for thinking that you should be able to pick up a copy of the game that day. They say that the "release date" listed on the Internet is actually the "Ship Date" and, "even if we got the game today, we couldn't sell it until tomorrow." I call bullshit. If the game's "release date" is quoted everywhere, and you happen to get it in your store on that day, you'd better damn well sell it to me on that day if you want my business in the future. Nowhere on the Internet, where such information is regularly posted, does the "release date" state that it's not really the "release date," that it's really the "ship date" and the "actual" "release date" is the day after the "quoted" "release date". Follow me? Neither do I! [More]

Nintendo defeats Christmas Wii shortage...in a way

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:01:00-0400

Wired just reported that Nintendo has started a program that'll get something under your tree, but it won't be a Wii.

Instead, it will be a certificate promising the availability of a Wii to your loved one "sometime in January". The program is a raincheck of sorts, but sadly only available at GameStop so far.

Slightly good news for anyone within 8:59am distance of Best Buy, Kmart, Sears, Target, Toys R Us, or Circuit City. This Sunday these stores are expected to get a load of Wiis in.

A new year of busted LCDs and strap-drama is on it's way.

XBox Fanboys Always Trying to Compensate for Something

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 14:35:00-0400

I don't mean to generalize, but I think everyone would agree that all Xbox fanboys are in fact assholes.

Nintendo Wii "dog attack"

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:32:00-0400

Gerstmann: An alternative view

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 23:09:00-0400

Gerstmann is a corporate cocksucker. Let's get that out of the way immediately.

"Why?", you ask?

Some of you may view Gertsmann's "departure" from a liberal standpoint whereby this poor $100,000-year-plus-benefits schmuck will suddenly lose his ability to review mediocre games on a mediocre site while his house and estate fall into receivership. If you thought that, you're a fucking retard. Hit Alt+F4 (or OS equivalent) now and save yourself the limited brain nuclei you have left.

Every site you love specifically exists in large part to advertisers. If a high-profile and award-winning company such as Eidos want (needs?) to push some tilt for themselves, what is the fucking problem? Your favorite herd-leading front has been exposed as...a profitable business! Oh no!

The situation here seems to question accountability and trust for the subscriber and general public that relies on the precise opinions of a bunch of fuckjobs who's sole purpose in life is to grade others hard work.

GameSpot got tired of overpaying a dickface to do an asshole's job. Eidos wanted their appliances included when they bought the house. Big fucking deal.

Rabid Gamers unmoved by Gamespot's platitudes

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 18:13:00-0400

Several days too late, Gamespot finally releases a Special Report to directly address the growing ill-will of the gaming community. Platitudes were dispensed with a kind of desperate earnestness to a mostly unmoved audience.

Gamespot too slow: damage now irreparable. The crowd has made up its mind.

Gamespot's PR disaster is a direct result of its clumsy corporate culture of policies, procedures and protocols which proved wholly inadequate at keeping up with the online community's propensity for mood-swings and snap-judgments. Bound and gagged and stumbling over its own red tape, time and inaction cost Gamespot its reputation. There's almost nothing they can say now to please the crowd, which has long-since made up its mind on what it wants to believe: That game review champion, Gerstmann, was wrongfully dismissed for expressing honest reviews and opinions about an arguably mediocre game whose publisher had paid hundreds of thousands to advertise on the reviewing site.

Gerstmann needs to speak because nothing Gamespot or CNet says will have any credibility with the community.

Nothing ? short of Gerstmann himself coming out to speak on Gamespot's behalf ? will salvage the once-venerable game review site's crumbling reputation. Still, twenty-two pages (as of this posting) reveals very little support or understanding from the gaming community. Comments range in tone from stiff cynicism:

"Nice try... but this is just blatant propaganda. The video being pulled due to "a faulty mic" is a laughable excuse at best. "

"BS on this one. Reads like a standard HR cover-your-butt release (I've seen a few working in the financial industry.) Eidos had two fake 5 star reviews on their site, and pulled "hundreds of thousands of dollars" in future advertising. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck..."

"Some of the portions of these answers are insulting. For example, this quote below. You can't honestly say that you took this video down due to poor mic quality. You guys have a multitude of video reviews, both current and archived that didn't sound any worse than this one did. Stop making excuses, you already look like a bunch of cowardly asses. Don't make it worse."

Dissatisfaction:

"Still feels like they're dodging the questions. This would make a good resume for a potential White House press secretary."

Outright mockery:

"Wow... they asked themselves questions and answered them. I have an instant depth of trust and faith I never knew I had!"

Staunch disbelieve:

"Its too late gamespot. You can't un-ring the bell. Lift the gag order so Jeff can tell us himself why he was fired. Until then, I don't believe a single thing."

"Does anyone believe a single bit of this crap. There is excuse after excuse. Everything here mentioned changes to Kane and Lynch that are just too uncommon to have nothing to do with the firing. I started to get a sick feeling before I got down to the 5th question. I have reconfirmed my decision to cancel my membership. Farewell Gamespot."

Cautious resignation:

"Whilst I kind of believe the article, I have to admit my confidence in them is still shaken."

"I want to believe you, GS, I really do. But, staging a phony interview where you answer your own questions isn't really the best strategy. Nevertheless, the explanation seems plausible. Gerstmann could have been fired for any number of reasons."

Even some conspiratorial undertones:

"To all gamers: This goes beyond Jeff Gerstmann's firing. Gamespot will be partnering with the Academy of Interactive Arts and Sciences as well as hosting and webcasting the awards ceremony for 2007. The AIAS is the organization that chooses the GOTY. This scandal calls into question GS's involvement in the AIAS ceremony. What we need immediately is a statement from Jeff regarding his dismissal. Otherwise, I feel we have no choice but to boycott the AIAS awards ceremony due to Gamespot's participation."

Ungag Gerstmann!

Amidst the clamour, the recurring sentiment from the mob is this: "We want to hear from Gerstmann". And why not, they reason, if everything is as Gamespot claims, why is Gerstmann prohibited from speaking about the circumstances surrounding his sudden departure? Why was it necessary to lock him out of his office? Why did his video review get pulled down immediately? Why did his close childhood friend Tim Tracy suddenly decide to resign on the same day? Why did Kane & Lynch advertisement suddenly disappear at precisely the same time?

Is it all really just unfortunate timing?

To quote a commenter, "Wow, a lot of coincidences there..."

Finally, acceptable behavior

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 20:53:00-0400

Topless Wii, it's about time, really...

Let's fuck with Gamespot: change your user avatar to Jeff Gerstmann!

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:06:00-0400

So if you're a Gamespot member, take the time to edit your profile and change your avatar to Jeff Gerstmann. We've provided you with an avatar to freely use, please grab it below! Now go post all over Gamespot so Jeff's face is plastered everywhere... Save the above avatar and follow these simple steps:

Log into your Gamespot account.
Click Profile and go to Images tab.
Change your User Icon. Browse for the avatar and hit Upload.
Apply your changes.
Go post all over Gamespot so your avatar shows up.

Be sure to read the Official Gamespot Response to Jeff's "leaving" and post your thoughts.

Bloggers, help spread the word!

Mr. Neil Thompson, please stuff it

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 11:35:00-0400

Neil Thompson, Senior Regional Director, Northern Europe, Entertainment & Devices Division, Microsoft Corporation had this to say:

"Nintendo are doing very well and they've done a great job at expanding the market in certain areas, but there is a limit in terms of what you can do with Wii and there is a very definite limit on the expandability of that product."

Firstly, this is nothing more than the corporate equivalent of a troll-post disguised as an industry interview. Too bad the Universe has no Moderator to ban people from RL, which means we all have to deal with them. Inevitably someone will take these comments seriously, so we'll bite at the offering and chew it over a bit. [More]

My favorite type of Sony Fanboy.

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 12:13:00-0400

Coming from a site that bears the name "WiiFanBoys" it's a little hard to stretch the tongue and accuse others of being more Fanboy than ourselves, but we can talk about -- unequivocally and fairly, mind you -- the different types of fanboy. Today I will pay tribute and great appreciation to: the Sony Fanboy.

You know who you are, and if you're him, you've already built up enough anger reading this paragraph that would rival Chris Benoit. Except, Sony Fanboys wouldn't leave an apology beside each of their victims. They are who they are and we've accepted them, perhaps grudgingly.

With that in mind, here are my favorite Sony Fanboys:

[More]

It's Time to Stop Porting Shit to the Wii

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 23:36:00-0400

Right now, the Wii is being treated like the retarded cousin who gets all the ugly hand-me-downs from the good-looking children. I'm talking to you publishers and developers. The Wii is sick and tired of eating the regurgitated contents of other consoles' games. You need to stop pissing on the Wii and treat it with a little more respect. [More]

Nintendo can now make your console better when they choose, but they won't.

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 14:16:00-0400

the Weather channel. Nintendo finally decided last month to have the weather channel display the current weather condition without having to open the actual channel and load it

Have you ever sat in-front of your Wii staring blankly at the Wii Menu and thought, "Gee, they could fix that damn channel limitation right now." or "Why do the + and - buttons work in some menus and not on others?" Well, I have and sure, it's not nearly as annoying on an older system whereby the manufacturer had no possible way of making things better when the console was finally packed up after production and sent off to Wal-Mart or EB Games for the frenzied fanboys to smoke themselves over. [More]

STFU Halo 3. No Game Deserves a 10. Ever.

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 01:23:00-0400

When you, as a reviewer, give a game a 10 you have just proven that you are worthless not only as a game reviewer but as a human being in general. In fact, you are required, by law, to delete your GameJournalismDiploma.PDF that you downloaded. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Halo 3 is not a 10/10 game. Bioshock is not a 10/10 game. Anyone who is trying to tell you that it is, is a filthy lying idiot. [More]

Console Update Rant

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 23:56:00-0400

What the fuck is the big idea with adding the "clock" in the Wii menu? Has anyone else noticed that it moves with the channel pages and the date DOESN'T. Tell me, doesn't it look pretty fucking stupid that the DATE stays on the screen while the TIME scrolls back and forth with + or -? These are 2 functions of the same purpose: time. So why the hell are they separated?
Huyyuck, let's put it here. Yes, the time moves back and forth as the pages move. The date does not. Digital alarm clock font. Nice job, assholes.
Why the fuck not like this? Same font. Same placement. Put ANYTHING in the space where the time was.
You could put Google Ads there -- that would even be better than the time.

Smash Bros. Developer: You need to understand.

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 23:47:00-0400

From SmashBros.com (Sept. 18. 2007):

"But because this form of communication is greatly affected by the distance between you and your opponent, your brawls may not run smoothly if you're really far apart--like, for instance, if you're connecting between Japan and America." Further, "The more distant you are, the worse your connection becomes, and the slower it feels. I apologize, but I hope you understand."

Hope I understand? Here's what I understand. I understand that a nut on Halo 2 can smoke me from Taiwan -- if Microsoft sold any consoles in such territory -- and have absolutely no lag. Why should I "understand"? Let me translate the above quoted text to what I actually hear in my head: [More]